Posted by Dustin on 10.18.2012 at 11:16 am

So last night was the big debut of “American Horror Story: Asylum.” Unfortunately many people found out the hard way that the tagline of Asylum meant your old DVR settings wouldn’t record the show. Reset your DVRs! I’m sure the premier will be played to death over this week. Otherwise here is a quick recap before my thoughts . . .

The show began with Theresa and Leo (Adam Levine) as a horny honeymooning couple that gets turned on by visiting the most haunted places in America and doing it there. This is what brought them to Briarcliff Asylum outside of Boston. The asylum’s most notorious inmate was the serial killer “Bloody Face,” who killed and skinned three women in the 60s. As they are getting kinky in the ruined and abandoned asylum, something or someone grabs Leo from behind a prison door, through a window, and rips his arm off. As Theresa attempts to find help, something stalks her! Well that sucks, there goes the shows “sexy!”

Back in the 60s, we meet the staff of the hospital when it was running. The catholic church runs the place, and the head is Monsignor Timothy Howard (Joseph Fiennes) along with Sister Jude (Jessica Lange). Jude seems to be a prude, as she wears sexy red lingerie under her robes and lusts after Howard. Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe) assists Jude in running the place. Jude believes she runs the hospital, but Dr. Arthur Arden (James Cromwell) thinks he’s the real pioneer. Where Jude puts her faith in God curing these inmates, Arden is a man of science. He seems to be on a quest to understand insanity, and his experiments on the patients are anything but ethical. He keeps what he’s doing a secret, and appears to have Howard’s blessings. Jude however is vowing to find out what he’s up to. Four of his patients have died, each four fortunately have no family to ask questions, and Arden claimed the bodies had been cremated. However there is something living out in the woods outside of the asylum which Arden sends Mary Eunice to feed . . . .

Meanwhile Kit Walker (Evan Peters, Tate from last season) is a garage mechanic and secretly married to a black woman. He wants to reveal his marriage to their families, she does not yet as the times aren’t ready. For now it appears she’s posing as his maid. One night something comes out of the sky and apparently abducts them both. It would seem his wife was later found dead, skinned alive. This matches two other murders in the region, and so he’s arrested as the killer known as “Bloody Face.” This killer wears the skin of his victims like a mask, so rumor has it. He is taken to Briarcliff until the courts decide his fate, and Arden takes a keen interest in him and his brain. Kit claims “little green men” took him and his wife, but nobody believes him.

Enter Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson, the psychic from last season) and her partner Wendy (Clea DuVall). Wendy is a third grade science teacher, Lana a reporter for the local paper. They are lesbians, but because of the times posing as “roommates.” Lana heads to the asylum under the guise of doing a story on the bread they bake and sell for charity, but what she wants is the story on Bloodyface. Jude throws her out, but she finds a way to sneak back in later. At this point Arden has Kit on his table and finds some bizarre chip implanted in his neck. The chip then sprouts legs like a spider and crawls off! Lana is sneaking around and is knocked out by something or someone, and is later found by Jude. Jude knows her dirty little secret she’s been hiding in the closet, and has decided to cure her. She blackmailed Wendy into signing papers to commit her, saying if the truth about them came out then her career would be over. The show basically ended with Lana being locked up with the rest of the inmates, but not before befriending another one Grace, who seems to be the only sane person there aside from Kit.

The premier was definitely not what I was expecting. We knew things would be different. We were told about the asylum long ago, and that there would not be ghosts this season. However I never expected aliens! I have to say I hate alien abduction stories. Of all genres of horror, they are the ones I hate the most because they are the most possible to actually happen as far as I’m concerned.

I don’t know if I like the idea of aliens on the show to be honest. I feel like a story about a serial killer, possible medical mutants, and an asylum is enough. The alien aspect made me immediately feel like they jumped the shark, and it’s only episode one of season two! Of course we don’t know the whole story yet. Was it really aliens? Could it be something else? The chip spider definitely will be hard to explain, unless the doctor is crazy too.

Is Kit Walker the killer? It seems right now there could be two other explanations. One, alien abductions are going on and they are the real killers. Another possible explanation is the medical mutants that Arden is making are the killers, and Kit just assumed they were aliens. But again, what was the deal with the chip?

Of course in the present, a killer still stalks the prison. Who is that? Is it simply an inmate still there, or one of the medical mutants?

In awesome news, Ryan Murphy tweeted yesterday for the premier “So thrilled to announce Dylan McDermott is returning to American Horror Story!” They’re bringing sexy back!