Posted by Dustin on 09.06.2009 at 9:07 pm

As usual the show began with a recap of Jeff’s eviction and Natalie totally lucking out and winning the HOH guessing game. Oh yeah, I’m telling you all now, this recap is totally slanted against that Gnat 🙂

Natalie immediately ran around gloating, screaming “Final Three Baby!” Michelle was ready to be sick as she knew she was going up. Kevin felt like Natalie acted like she just won some long endurance challenge, when the fact is she can’t win squat. Jordan felt as if she had just screwed herself.

Natalie told Kevin not to doubt that they are going to final two together. Natalie wanted Michelle out, she was the one they had to beat this week. However they also worried about Jordan, as she did really well in that comp.

Natalie came up with a plan to put Kevin up on the block to try and fool the house to think that Kevin and her weren’t aligned (as if anyone would believe that). Kevin was furious, thinking it took 5 minutes for the power to go to her head and wondered if he would have to slap the biznatch! (Kevin’s words!)

Natalie got her HOH room, which included a blanket gift from her boyfriend. Nobody really seemed to be that excited about seeing Nat’s room at all, honestly!

Natalie told Michelle and Jordan she was putting up Kevin, as she wanted them to feel safe. She told them all these lies (oh wait, Natalie doesn’t lie) about how she wanted Kevin gone because he has too many votes in the jury house.

The houseguests played a luxury competition, which was to win new clothes. Jordan and Michelle were on one team, with Nat and Kevin on a team. However they all played as a house. They won 3:30 to shop for clothes, being allowed to keep anything they were able to put on. The uncomfortable moment of the week came as Kevin began to strip the mannequins of the clothes they were wearing, as he wanted them. CBS felt the need to blur out the lower regions of the mannequins. What the hell was going on down there?

Later, Kevin went to talk to Michelle about a Final 2 that worked for him, he knew he couldn’t win with Natalie. He suggested they work to get Natalie out, as they could do it, whereas she and Jordan or he and Jordan might not be able to. From his diary room sessions, Kevin was serious, as he was ready to knock Natalie out for the money.

Natalie came to talk to Jordan, telling her they should team up, and how she was going to be “honest” with her (because Natalie doesn’t lie). Later Natalie went to the HOH room to find another Pandora’s Box door. Natalie was offered a chance to spend time with a love one, it was her boyfriend Jason. Natalie said she’d do anything to spend time with him. The price was to give up playing in the veto competition!

Natalie chose to give up the veto comp, possibly screwing Kevin over, to see her boyfriend. She only had five minutes with Jason, and he proposed to her. Her answer was “Hell yeah!” It was the most romantic moment in “Big Brother” history . . . . NOT. (Seriously, it seemed faked and scripted for TV, really).

Of course Jason had another offer from “Big Brother.” She got an extra 15 minutes and a sushi dinner with Jason. The price? The rest of the house was annoyed by three unwelcome visitors. A big baby chased Kevin and Michelle around crying that he wants his mommy. Then a little person dressed as a cat showed up and he copied everything they said. The final visitor was a giant roach spraying Jordan and others with a can of bug spray.

After the visitors left, Natalie decided not to tell the others what happened, but the others came up too soon and saw another Pandora’s box door. She said she got screwed and opened the box, and lost the ability to play in the veto. They however wanted to know what was behind the door. She started making up some huge lie about what some offer they made her and she took. Oh wait Natalie doesn’t lie . . . The “story” she made up was some silly “Final 2 Reversal” deal, which means if she gets to the end and she is voted to win, she loses. Or if she is voted 2nd, she wins. Everyone looked at her like “What?”

Kevin knew she was a being a big fat liar, and Natalie realized she was caught. Later Jordan and Michelle talked with Kevin, they all knew she was lying. They knew nobody would take her to final 2 with this deal. Natalie came out and asked them all not to ask her anymore about Pandora’s Box. (Probably because she doesn’t lie, therefore she didn’t want to tell anymore lies to cover up the lies she’s told. Wait I mean stories!)

Kevin refused to believe the “story” Natalie was telling and confronted her privately. Natalie then decided to pretend her lies were just a fun joke she was playing on everyone. She then told them all she was just pranking them, that they all got punked by an 18 year old (another story!). She came out and told them the truth about her boyfriend and the proposal. They honestly weren’t sure they could believe the tomboy who cried wolf.

Kevin was furious in a diary session, thinking if she could lie about this, then she’s probably been lying about other things including her name.

The nomination ceremony was held, with Natalie dressed up in her STUPID QUEEN NAT outfit. She put Kevin and Michelle on the block. She claimed she put Kevin up for strategic reasons, she duped him and she would beat him by getting him out before he could get her out. She then told Michelle she nominated her for personal reasons, she’s a backstabber and a liar (funny!). She said if she made a deal with Michelle, it was a deal with the devil. (BTW, based on the feeds, Natalie went way further in her noms speech and it was way edited for TV! She went into “Jerry” territory from last season, blasting Michelle on religion)

Natalie told us in her diary room session that her target was Michelle, and she was pulling one over (i.e. lying to and planning on backstabbing) Jordan by taking Kevin to final 2 with her.

America, it’s time for us to vote for our favorite houseguest and give them 25K in cash! Every single houseguest is eligible, vote at CBS.com for free! The winner will be announced on the finale September 15th.